all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
