like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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