Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
