Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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