just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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