the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
This show inspires me to have sex in space
should my penis look like a turkey
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
