I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
