Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
