so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
