on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
