ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
