Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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