My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just cropdusted the office
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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