my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
