I'm really into asian looking animals
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
