Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
