no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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