are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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