There was a lot of him and a little penis
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
