sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
They took my balls.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
