I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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