I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
