ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
