I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
as a side note pls kill me
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
