Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
