I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
