Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
