As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
