i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
