A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
