Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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