so explain again why im purple
no
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
