OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
