I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
