"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i think i have herpe
just one?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
