ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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