She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
