yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
