Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
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