glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
