I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Your penis caused this!
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
