She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
