i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
