Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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