Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
