Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
