The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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