The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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