i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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