I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
