Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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