BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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